Back in the van

In the back of the van
Sucking fumes
And wrapped in a blanket
To shield me from
This poorly insulated
Piece of shit
With dreams of a car
That won't go fall apart
And an apartment or a house
That the bank won't foreclose on
I know I contribute value
I can see it in their eyes
So why would they let me die out here like this? Why?

Lay Me Down

Slaying
Sleeping
Slaying
Sleeping

Every little pain, a fear of something bigger
Lighting up the first fires in my mind
And they don't stop until I finally dump the buckets
All over every flame

God, Waves & Saturdays

i've got a headache.
it's taking me a lot today
to get up out my bed.
i've taken the longest ways
 and seven ways to saturday
i cancel the beat in my head.

i take the longest ways.
got seven ways to Saturday,
to go fuck up everything.
the longer i'm waiting
i'm severing something
that is saving me.

i faked the way i felt like love was a moving shelf
a cancer was spreading
and i, used to yesterday, got -- god given -- in the way
of anything deadening for good.
the difference was deafening
i still just can't believe
that damaged, old tongue in cheek
while billfolds are spreading
they look like the dumbest eve
my heart races, quickening
and in my head that blasted beat.

God, if you opened your chemistry set tonight
and used it to make something right
i'd sing to you till the day i died.

As if i wouldn't anyway.
I just hope that you find me here
before i waste away and die.

Dear love,

My name and my face don't matter much anymore
See, I was cost to this horrible accident.
A broken bow; my melody not so sweet anymore.
But in loss, I've gained.

I know your name again, my sweet love.
How the shocking cold of the timberous north does rip through my skin,
So does your name through my mind and my head.
You are the soul I would give love to hold.
You are the best friend I never had.

And as I ramble on in silence
I think of your head
Dashed there on the rocks by the muddy banks
And I think,

'If only love could save.'

Faith, baby

This is the part where we dig our claws in
Sink or swim.
This is the last .6
Of a marathon you swore you'd die in

this one's a story

long ago
there was a boy with golden eyes
and he wandered at heart
until his eyes would shine no more

until he came across a rope that said hang yourself high and let go
and so he did, ignited like a phoenix
death to the traitors
death to their conduits
death to the death march
the hegemon bullshit

life to the visceral and raw
and heaven sent
let's be angels again he said
and when the people laughed at him

he didn't care anymore.

so onward he wrote
getting rid of blockage
blockaids and madness
through all the things that held him underwater to die

and he started swimming
a lot
moving through the water
dodging bears with ease
brand new and full of light

he swam up stream to procreate and tell his great story
and then he was slaughtered by a man on a beach
made to be a beautiful alaskan dinner

made to be a beautiful
and most nourishing
corpse...

the end
=)

this is the one

i see you lack of respect me
we create the game
you're just winning
by playing hard
something that
you have no created

so while we make our new game,
wait for your repairs
and we'll be fixing up another
in the fields of full bloom

yes, we will
resurrect
the deadened
and broken
the muted and gold
the hungry and full
the hearty and whole
the fun loving folks
of good galore
and living in the forest
with bears and beads and birds
and bees who sting but really
they don't hurt a thing
but themselves

when they inject their lives
in your with intent
to harm yourself
and leave them dead